Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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