Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
