absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
