I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
