oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I believe in your delicious
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
