i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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