so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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