Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
