I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I love having hate sex.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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