More tranny stories later!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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