it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
