she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
