Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
