Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
