I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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