Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
