Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
