I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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