You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you win again, gameday.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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