If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize