Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i will never coherently bang her
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
