What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I don't deserve a penis
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
