And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
