we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
