You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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