Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
