I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
