thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
