Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
