Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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