this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
