God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
