I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
