would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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