guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
