I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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