So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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