Someone shit on the floor
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
