It's Friday. Sex?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize