so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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