Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
