What a fucking waste of an outfit
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize