just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
