it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
