It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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