Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
