Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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