I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
