boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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