This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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