Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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