Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
