At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
