He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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