i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
